Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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