he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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