There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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