She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
