How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize