he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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