You're a womanizer and a bitch.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize