I think my vagina is haunted
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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