WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
