you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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