We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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