Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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