we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
