I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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