He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
