What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
