Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Randomize
