Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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