oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
