Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
