I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
