There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize