she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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