try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
