I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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