New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
