im drinking this country out of the recession.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
