I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
