North Korea, Best Korea!
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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