I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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