Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
