I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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