he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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