I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
