i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
