Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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