I murdered the dance floor call the cops
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
