420 ftw
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
