Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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