I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
