You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
