if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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