please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
