Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
