DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Randomize
