so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
