We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
