i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
