CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
