We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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