i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
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