Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
True college students do jello shots in the library
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
