Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
