i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
