I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
