I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
