but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
