i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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