He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
