Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
