That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize