i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
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