I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize