She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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