"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Let the clothes fall where they may.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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