I can feel you judging me through the phone.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
