im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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