Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
