Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
